The U.S. surgeon general Dr. Vivek Murthy has sounded the alarm on parent burn out and declared it a public health issue. He asserts the parental load is overwhelming due to cultural parenting challenges such as children’s health and safety, social media, and technology as well as uncertainty about their futures.
The department of health and human services reports that 48% of parents say they are completely overwhelmed by stress compared to 26% among adults who are not parents. I believe parent burn out is a result of parents doing too much for their children, starting as young as toddlerhood. The reason behind this? Parents feel they must accommodate their child’s every desire. Giving them a happy childhood is at the top of the list. I wish for parents to know a happy child is one that can work through hard things, and a happy childhood is one that has hard things to work through. Children need to experience a range of emotions including the painful ones like disappointment and sadness. It’s in the painful feelings that parents can show up and listen. your child will feel connected to you by you simply sitting next them and placing your arm around them while they talk about a bad day.
Many parents feel that giving their children a childhood enriched with organized activities and all the opportunities available to them is their job. Full time working parents bend over backward so spend weekends away for travel sports only to feel that they are more disconnected than ever from their children. Bewildered and confused parents continue to do more for their children wondering why the children are ungrateful and entitled. 2 things are happening here.
- Parens are giving so much they feel they are going to break by giving anything else nad they need to know it’s benifitting their childrn, otherwise, what’s the point.
- Children are expecting to be served and given what they want. When a parent has a boundary the child doesn’t know how to tolerate that and often has a dysregulated reaction, appearing entitled and ungrateful.
What Can Parents Do To Ensure A Deeper Connection?
Take something off your plate, 1 thing, an activity or a social obligation. In that time simplify your life by spending it with your child. Device and screen free. You can cook dinner together, and bake dessert. Play a game, go for a nature walk, or a moon walk. That’s all kids need! The basics. Time spend together in especially in nature calms the nervous system. This will fill them up and it will be enough. You won’t have entitled kids who want more than you can give.
